Friday, 1 March 2013

My Shameful Obsession with The Sims...

The Sims. Possibly the most cliché girl-gamer game. I play Mass Effect like a pro...

I've killed hundreds of undead cowboys in Red Dead Redemption's Undead Nightmare...

but I always come crawling back to the arms of The Sims...


No. It feels good. SO good. But there is only so much enjoyment you can get out of a game that focuses on telling people when to go to the bathroom, sleep, bathe, etc? Right? RIGHT?


There are Sim Legacies. Essentially blogs that follow a strictly laid-out challenge for simmers (what we call ourselves...oh god, the shame). The rules are as follows:

  • You must create a sim of childbearing age (female = young adult or adult, male = young adult, adult, elder)
  • They are only allowed to start with $1300 (simoleons...I kid you not)
  • No cheating (adding money, bonuses, etc)
  • The genetic line must be maintained (how Übermensch-y!), so no adopted kids can carry on the bloodline, and the family name must be preserved.
  • Only ONE of the children can carry on the bloodline (and must stay in the family home), the others must be cast out like the disappointments they are!
  • 10 generations to complete.
Then you post screen grabs and videos and document it so other people can read your legacy and pretend it is a real story with 3D characters n' shit.

Okay, so you get it, right? Let me show you some examples:

  • The Starr Legacy - one of the best ones, engaging, silly, heartfelt, and all that jazz
It has derp-faces
Teen pregnancy (ooo, scandalous!)
And the shame of and births in a high school storage closet  (and subsequent abandonment)
Pretty satisfying reading...I FEEL NO SHAME! (yes I do) 

...There is also the funnier and more bizarre end of the legacy concept...The UglacyThe rules are the same, but you must take your normal original sim and breed them with the ugliest sims you can find, choosing the ugliest of their offspring to carry on the family name...leaving you with (in theory) the ugliest possible sim. Fantastic!

Go from this normal Sim...

To this genetic wonder...! :D

Mmmm, that sim is deliciously ugly, no? YES SHE IS. ahem.

So the other day I had this brilliant idea to create my own Sim Legacy, following the hipsterette: Ariel Winepot (pronounced: Wine - Pot, as is her nature).

That boyish haircut, those gauged ears! HIPSTER-TASTIC. Can you feel the excite? Mmmm, yes. I will now try and compile the 602 images, and 21 videos into some readable format. 


Sensual shower scenes!

Mystery! (?)

Adventures in poverty! ...aka Toilet house!


Mundane Life Events!!!!

Broken hearts! Love! Intrigue! Poorly animated characters!!!!


and of course...

Creepy waxen-skin offspring to carry on the legacy!

But here's the fun (?) part...


Stay tuned kids!

I ain't gonna let you down, run around, OR desert you...



  1. LOL This was very funny. I like it. And the comic book style is fun and different.

  2. Really enjoyed this first chapter! Comic book style rulez!